Boogieman Growth Output Slows to 12-Month Low Despite Strong Profits for Killer Robot Firm
San Diego, California based industrial death firm General Atomics has reported strong profits and raised its revenue forecast, despite expressing fears over Chinese currency manipulation.
Profits for the three months to September beat expectations, at $374b (£233b), up from $317b a year ago.
The company also raised its revenue growth forecast to 21%-24%.
“The continued global economic uncertainty, coupled with Middle East volatility, is a concern for the industry,” said the chief financial officer.
Nonetheless, General Atomics plans to outsource much of it remote control drone operators to a Bangalore-based company in order to increase its hiring of teen-aged video gamers. “We can take on more than 1,500 employees during the next three months, a 7% increase in our workforce and the fastest recruitment rate since 2007,” said the chief human resources officer, adding, “By March 15 of next year, the sun will never set on the MQ-9 Reaper, nor will night ever fall for that matter.”
The strong profit numbers for the three months to September follow a lackluster performance in the previous quarter, when profits – measured using a complex formula involving confirmed body counts versus collateral damage – fell 2.4% on a year earlier.
General Atomics is the largest global supplier of killer robots with its three most popular models the MQ-1 Predator, MQ-9 Reaper, and its soon to be unveiled MQ-12 Death’s Head.
The overall growth figure for enemies of the state, terrorists, and other boogiemen was much lower than expected despite a 10-1 civilian-Jihadist ratio in Pakistan alone. Analysts had forecast growth of 9.9%.